


Poly Olly Oxen Free

by alasweneverdo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Femslash, Fluff, Het, M/M, Multi, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Slash, Threesome - F/F/F, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:45:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alasweneverdo/pseuds/alasweneverdo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a delicate thing. You can’t just open up a conversation with <i>by the way, there are nearly a dozen people in this relationship.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Poly Olly Oxen Free

**Author's Note:**

> A million thanks to shadowofrazia, who let me talk at her incessantly, and inheritedjeans, who helped make it nice and pretty.

**1 - Arthur/Merlin**

Deep down, Arthur knows he shouldn't be making eyes at his step-sister's boyfriend. He's also fairly certain aforementioned step-sister's boyfriend shouldn't be making eyes right back at him, but really, who's he to complain?

"He likes you," says Morgana, tone unaffected as she opens the fridge.

Arthur, not having heard her enter the kitchen, jumps and nearly drops his just-opened beer. "What—who?"

"Merlin. God knows why, but he finds you attractive." She leans back against the counter and crosses her legs, jar of green olives in hand.

Reddening like a child caught doing something shameful, Arthur says, "Sorry?"

Her eyebrows raise as she pops an olive into her mouth. "Oh? What for?"

"That doesn't—bother you?" he asks.

"Why should it? Merlin's a grown man, more than capable of making his own decisions. If he wants to sleep with you, he can go right ahead." She gives him the once-over. "After all, _I_ have."

He watches her slowly and methodically devour half the jar and says, "That's different."

She sighs, setting the jar aside. When she crosses her arms over her chest, it makes her cleavage even more prominent in her low-cut shirt. Not that Arthur is staring. "We've already talked it over," she says. "I'm fine with it, he's fine with it, and if you've got even an ounce of sense _you'll_ be fine with it as well."

"But—"

"Merlin," she calls. "Could you come in here?"

In what may be the awkwardest conversation in Arthur's entire life, the three of them come to an agreement. He feels like he's being set up on a play date, except with sex. It's possible that he really didn't think that analogy through, but it fits.

Merlin's looking at him shyly, and in spite of how flustered and confused he is, Arthur can't help but smile. Then he hears a quiet noise and turns to find Morgana smirking at him.

As Merlin and Morgana are on their way out the door, she pauses to put on her coat and says, "We should do this more often."

Arthur nods. "Absolutely." He looks to Merlin. "It was—lovely to meet you," he says, feeling ridiculous as he holds his hand out to a guy his step-sister's just given him permission to have sex with, but he doesn't know what else to do; what's the proper etiquette in a situation like this?

He can see Merlin holding back a laugh as he shakes his hand. "Same to you. I'll see you Tuesday?"

Then, right as they're leaving, Morgana presses a kiss to Arthur's lips. It lasts just long enough not to be friendly, and her smile is mischievous as she takes Merlin's hand and lopes out the door.

Already, Arthur's wondering what he's gotten himself into.

 

**2 - Arthur/Merlin/Morgana**

One of the things Morgana loves most about Merlin is that he makes being around her step-brother bearable. Arthur is more relaxed with Merlin nearby, more content and playful, and she likes seeing him like that. She's missed this side of him.

If not for having Merlin curled against his other side, she doesn't think Arthur would be so thrilled about her fingers entwining with his and their bodies pressed flush against each other. He gives her a confused look, but it's not disapproving, so she smiles, squeezing his hand and craning up to kiss his jaw. She hears Merlin laughing softly.

That's how it starts. It ends with the three of them tangled in Arthur's sheets the next morning, Merlin spooning her from behind while she uses Arthur's shoulder as a pillow. She runs her fingers down the trail of hair on his navel till he catches her hand and holds it there, mumbling groggily. His breath tickles against her scalp.

Moments later, Merlin's arm tightens around her, and she thinks she could get used to waking up like this.

 

**3 - Arthur/Mithian**

"Merlin's my date for the Christmas party."

The sigh Arthur lets out is full of resignation. "I figured," he says.

"Do you have anyone to go with?" she asks.

He shrugs. His father will nag him to death if he goes alone, but telling him "I _do_ have a boyfriend, he just happens to be Morgana's boyfriend as well" doesn't seem like a good idea, either.

"I know someone you might get on with," says Morgana. There's a foot of space separating them on the couch because Merlin isn't around and it would be _weird_ to be too close to her otherwise. "She's an ex of mine—well, I say ex."

A month ago, Arthur would've been aghast at the idea of going on a pseudo-date with a girl Morgana was fucking on the side. Now, he just hums and changes the channel. "What's she like?"

"Gorgeous, witty, intelligent. Very politically involved. Huge supporter of Chelsea."

Arthur takes a moment to weigh the pros and cons. On one hand, the woman likes football and can probably hold her own in an intellectual discussion; on the other hand, she likes _Morgana_. But Merlin also likes Morgana, so that isn't a very fair judgment.

He meets Mithian the next day for lunch, and honestly, Morgana didn't come close to doing her justice.

"I'm actually more of a rugby fan than football," she confesses, absently poking at her pad kee mao. "I remember the first time I saw the All Blacks on the telly. Fell in love with it then and there."

Mithian—Thia, she insists—loves ballet and fencing, tofu and steak, museums and theme parks. She takes part in rallies, and while she isn't baring her tits for feminism like Morgana, she does what she can. On top of that, she's an Oxford graduate with a degree in poli-sci and she laughs at Arthur's terrible jokes.

And yes, she's gorgeous.

 

**4 - Merlin/Mithian**

Merlin can tell within seconds of meeting Uther Pendragon that the man is not someone you fuck with. It's a good thing they have no plans to come out and say Merlin is sleeping with both Uther's step-daughter _and_ his son, since he'd rather not have that manic and bloodthirsty grin be the last thing he sees.

Whenever Morgana doesn't have his attention, Merlin finds himself glancing over at Arthur and Thia. He feels a pang of jealousy whenever he sees them smile at each other, touch each other, lean in to murmur in each other's ears and then laugh quietly. It's irrational and hypocritical, circumstances considered, but he can't help it.

He wishes he could be angry with Thia; he tries to be, except she's just too goddamn _nice_. He can't hate a person who fosters shelter animals.

And anyway, now she's smiling at him and biting her lip, and how is he supposed to take that? Nervous and unsure, he smiles back.

(Morgana's seen the whole thing. What she whispers to him afterward has him blushing from the ears down. She waves at Thia across the table, and when Thia waves back, the women exchange a look that makes Merlin feel as though he's just missed something.)

He just wishes Arthur would wipe that look of smug amusement off his face.

 

**5 - Gwen/Lancelot**

"You're sure you're not... bored with me?" Gwen asks.

Lance stares. " _Bored_ with you? Why would you think that?"

"Just that you were with blokes before, and they were all so much more—interesting than I am," she says, gaze fixed on the quilt underneath them. "Or maybe that's the wrong word—adventurous, maybe? I just don't want you to feel like you're stuck with me. But it's not as though I want to break up, either! But if you ever—well. You have needs, and I wouldn't mind if—that is, if you—oh, please don't make me say it."

He says it slowly, in case he's heard wrong: "Are you trying to tell me that you want me to... sleep with other people?"

"Yes—no! Um. That's sort of exactly what I'm saying, actually. But only if you want to?"

Part of him can't believe she's even suggesting this, and he can't tell if she's being understanding or just self-deprecating.

"Gwen, I'm perfectly happy with you," he says.

She looks up at him, eyes big and brows knit. "I know. I know," she says, as though reminding herself. "I just wanted you to know you have... options."

Overcome with fondness, he leans in to kiss her. Her lips are dry, chapped from licking them too often, but he wouldn't change it—wouldn't change her.

"How about this," he says against her smiling mouth. "I won't even think about seeing anyone else unless you find someone as well."

"But—"

"No buts. If you're fine with the way things are, then so am I."

She presses their foreheads together, threads her fingers through his hair. "All right. Deal."

 

**6 - Lancelot/Percival**

It takes a fair bit of time for Gwen to convince him it's all right to call the guy from the pub. Lance can't help but hesitate, since it breaks their Rule, but she's all bright eyes and gushing excitement and he's never been good at denying her anything.

He can't remember how long it's been since he's had a first date—he's been with Gwen since their last year of university and their relationship has stayed much the same all this time. Percy's a good sport about it, though. When Lance tells him upfront about the situation, he laughs and shrugs it off, saying he's dealt with weirder.

For the sake of his dignity, he's going to pretend not to have just ended a first date by going back to the bloke's flat and blowing him. But Gwen knows, and so does Percy. Well, at least Lance would _hope_ Percy knows.

On the bright side, they're going out again after this. He has time to do things the right way.

 

**7 - Arthur/Gwen**

"Gwen, this is Arthur, my idiotic yet perfectly charming step-brother. Arthur, I don't believe I've told you about Gwen. She's—"

"Another ex-girlfriend?" he guesses. Gwen is pretty and modest in her skirt and long jumper, possibly Morgana's type—if someone like Morgana even has a type.

Morgana clucks her tongue. "Believe it or not, Arthur, I do have friends I haven't shagged."

He ignores her, focusing instead on Gwen. "Pleasure to meet you," he says as they shake hands. He pretends not to be surprised by the firmness of her grip. "So how do you two _actually_ know each other, then?"

"I'm her secretary," says Gwen. "Or— _used_ to be, of course. I'm taking time off to get my master's in library science."

"And her lovely boyfriend is perfectly willing to pay more than his share of the bills if it means making her happy," says Morgana, rolling her eyes but making no attempt to hide her grin.

"Oh!" Gwen's eyes widen. "That reminds me, Morgana—I took your advice. About Lance."

"And?"

"He's been seeing someone for a few weeks now, and honestly, things are better than ever."

At Arthur's look of polite confusion, Morgana explains, "I told Gwen a bit about our arrangement. She was afraid her relationship was going to stagnate, so I said—well, it's working out for us, isn't it?" She half-shrugs, smiling at Gwen. "It's wonderful. You can't imagine how happy I am for you both."

"He said he'd be more comfortable if I had someone as well," says Gwen, frowning. "I told him it doesn't matter to me, but he's convinced."

"Is he?" Morgana smirks, shooting Arthur a sidelong glance.

Arthur nearly opens his mouth to protest; he's already involved with two people as it is (well, closer to three, technically), so it's not like he needs another partner on top of that. He has a life outside of sex and romance, too, and he can't just be whored off to any number of Morgana's acquaintances. But he's fighting a losing battle, he realizes, when Gwen's shy smile ropes him in just as Merlin's had.

And similarly to Merlin, he discovers later, she's a moaner.

 

**8 - Arthur/Gwen/Lancelot**

The two men have met and expressed something close to interest, but neither one seems comfortable with pursuing anything. They both act as though they're being unfaithful somehow, so it's Gwen who tells them it's all right, that nothing awful is going to happen and no one will judge them.

That's how they find their comfort: Gwen between them, a barrier and catalyst all at once. Sometimes their eyes will meet and Arthur will chuckle nervously while Lance gives a weak smile, but the awkwardness is short-lived.

In the moments when they drop the pretense of discomfort, Gwen nearly melts with happiness. And to everyone's surprise, it's Lance who makes the first move, pressing his lips to Arthur's without hesitation or modesty.

Arthur rarely stays over afterward, and that's fine. Gwen makes sure to kiss him before he goes.

 

**9 - Merlin/Gwaine**

"Merlin, please tell me you know better than to meet up with a stranger from the internet," says Arthur, his exasperation almost tangible.

"I know better than to meet up with a stranger from the internet," Merlin replies. His legs hang over the arm of the couch while his head rests in Arthur's lap. He's trying to concentrate on an article in _Smithsonian_ , but it's difficult to think when Arthur's petting his hair like that.

"Are you lying?"

"Yes."

Arthur groans. Merlin doesn't have to look up to know that he's frowning.

"Why bother with this, anyway?" Arthur grumbles. "We do enough for you, don't we?"

It's not even remotely fair, as Merlin is highly susceptible to guilt trips and Arthur knows that.

"It's not—Arthur, I'm not doing this 'cause I'm unhappy, o-or unfulfilled—or whatever you're thinking."

"Then what is it?"

"It's someone from my guild," says Merlin, only faintly embarrassed. "We're friends, and I'm doing him a favor, that's all. It's not a big deal."

"If he plays computer games, he's probably overweight and acne-ridden anyway," says Arthur. Merlin doesn't bother to point out that _he_ plays computer games, and he's both a respectable weight and completely pimple-free.

Anyway, it turns out Gwaine is pretty fit. Merlin doesn't normally go for the rugged and bearded types, but it barely takes two words from Gwaine before he's agreeing to pretty much everything the man says.

Arthur doesn't ask for details after the fact, but Morgana does. The moment she hears the word "bondage" her eyes light up.

"What do you suppose the chances are that he fancies women?" she asks.

Merlin has no idea, but he's willing to put in a good word for her if he has to. It's what a decent boyfriend should do.

(After seeing a picture of Morgana, Gwaine is quick to say that he swings both ways. Merlin doesn't have the heart to tell him what he's in for.)

 

**10 - Merlin/Lancelot**

With all of Arthur's complaints about how he feels like a homewrecker, Merlin expects Lance to be... different. He doesn't _look_ like a man whose girlfriend has been sleeping with someone else—Merlin's own boyfriend, to be exact—but then, Merlin doesn't know what he was expecting to begin with.

At first, it's just curiosity. People say Lance is perfect, and Merlin wonders if means Thia-perfect or Arthur-perfect, but he finds out Lance is a different kind altogether. His smiles are easy and warm, he's as humble as he is confident, and _Jesus,_ there can't possibly be a more courteous person on this planet. When Merlin kisses him, he almost expects Lance to find something to apologize for.

What he _doesn't_ expect is to get a quick handjob from him in Morgana's bathroom.

They emerge to find their respective dates, Gwaine and Percival, practically hanging off of each other. Merlin's laugh is disbelieving at first, but then things start to make sense.

He really shouldn't be surprised at these things anymore.

 

**11 - Gwen/Mithian/Morgana**

"Are you sure this is all right?" Gwen whispers.

Morgana tries not to sound too impatient as she says, "None of our partners will mind, Gwen. They're all too busy fucking each other."

Thia's laughter lessens the tension. She pulls Gwen into her and nuzzles her jawline. "No one's making you do anything, Gwen," she murmurs. "But no one's stopping you, either."

The task of getting them all undressed falls to Morgana. She can't say she minds—her favorite thing about the female body is how clothing slides off of it. As she goes about helping the two remove their clothes, she kisses a trail along the newly-exposed skin.

"I haven't really..." Gwen starts to say, and Morgana knows exactly what she means. She and Thia have enough experience to make up for it, though. Besides, the learning curve isn't too steep.

She tells Arthur all about it later, and in excruciating detail. It's only fair, since he's slept with all of them. And rather than being his usual prudish self, he cocks his head and listens with interest.

"You never told me you liked that," he says accusingly.

"I might've if you'd asked," she counters. "Anyway, Merlin already does an excellent job of it, so you don't need to worry yourself with these things." She makes sure the pat on his hand is extra-condescending.

 

**12 - Arthur/Morgana**

It makes her back stiff when he fucks her on the table, but she supposes she deserves it. That knowledge doesn't stop her from biting his shoulder hard enough to draw blood.

Whatever. Merlin can coddle him later.

 

**13 - Merlin/Mordred**

Following Merlin's announcement, the atmosphere in the room changes. He knows why: The word that starts with _b-_ and ends with - _oyfriend_ has always been reserved for Arthur. They may fool around with other guys—or date them, or maybe even love them on occasion—but Arthur is the only one who gets the title.

Until now.

"When do we get to meet him?" asks Morgana from her place on the couch.

Merlin can't look her in the eye. "Erm."

"Merlin," she says, then cuts off with a sigh. Her disappointment is tangible. "Oh, sweetheart, no."

"What is it?" asks Gwen, eyes darting between them confusedly.

"Merlin hasn't told him," says Lance. "About us."

Gwen's mouth opens in a silent _oh_ and she's got that understanding look on her face. Merlin doesn't want her to be understanding; he wants her to be upset with him, hurt and livid and reproving. Like Morgana, who's clenching her jaw and staring him down as though he's done something really awful. He deserves that.

It's not that he's doing it to be cruel, but it's a delicate thing. He can't just open up a conversation with _by the way, there are nearly a dozen people in this relationship_.

"I didn't want to overwhelm him," Merlin says weakly. "He's—well, he hasn't really—"

Morgana snorts. "Hasn't what? Had sex?"

When Merlin stares at the floor instead of responding, they all shout simultaneously, " _WHAT?_ "

He's at Arthur's flat to greet him as he gets home from working overtime. Everyone's left him to break the news on his own, because they know how things are between Arthur and Merlin.

Arthur just looks at him, eyelids drooping with exhaustion, then says, "You're bringing him here." There's no room for argument.

 

**14 - Arthur/Mordred**

The first thing Arthur notices is how young Mordred is. He almost asks Merlin if the kid is even legal, but that kind of thing is likely to earn him a glare, and he doesn't want to be the bad guy here.

Mordred is still in love with the world, and Arthur thinks that might be why Merlin adores him. He's eager and snarky and attentive, borderline naive, geeky. Likely unaware of his own boyish attractiveness.

When their eyes meet, Arthur feels like Mordred can read his mind. It unsettles him as much as it fascinates him.

Arthur doesn't think he has Merlin's approval, but Merlin isn't the one whose permission Arthur needs anyway. Mordred seems to think otherwise, blushing and looking to Merlin in silent question. Merlin's answer is a reluctant smile, and Arthur really can't blame him for being protective.

It's strange, being with someone who still doesn't know what they're doing. He's forgotten what this is like, and Mordred's letting him experience everything all over again like it's new. Maybe this is what Arthur needed.

 

**15 - Merlin/Morgana/Mordred**

"You're under no obligation to follow through with this," says Morgana. "There's no rule saying you can't just be with Merlin and Arthur. You know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Mordred says with no small amount of annoyance. "It's not like I've signed a sex contract." He pauses. "I haven't, have I?"

Merlin rolls his eyes. "Morgana, it's his first time having sex with a woman. He needs support, not a _lawyer_."

"Fine. Then you can stay and support him."

Merlin doesn't bother asking if this is all right, since Mordred's been making these big puppy eyes at him ever since they got here. It's resulted in Merlin asking multiple times if he's _sure_ this is what he wants, considering he looks scared half to death. But Mordred is nothing if not determined, and seems keen on finding out once and for all whether or not he's gay.

Somehow, Merlin isn't convinced Morgana is the best indicator for a man's sexuality.

It starts out tentative, yet he thinks he can pinpoint the exact moment when Morgana's teasing and goading flips a switch in Mordred's head. He tries and fails to hold back a laugh at the look of shock on Morgana's face; it's rare that anyone catches her off guard, but Mordred achieves the feat easily.

She eases up after that, patiently guiding him along. "The clitoris really isn't all that different from the cock," she says, "except they're not the same at all."

"What does that even _mean?_ " Mordred asks, panting.

"It means keep doing what you're doing until she tells you to stop," says Merlin. "She's not shy about what she likes—even less about what she doesn't."

"Merlin. Less talking."

Merlin raises his eyebrows at Mordred, silently communicating _see, told you_.

Mordred sleeps afterward, head resting on Morgana's thigh as she brushes his hair from his face. It's easy to forget how affectionate she is, since her bedroom persona is nearly a dominatrix, but she seems to enjoy cuddling more than most of them.

Her serene smile makes him feel weightless, just as it always has. Though love isn't a word they use often, he can't help but murmur into a kiss that he loves her. It's not as if it's a secret, anyway.

Cupping his cheek with her free hand, she says, "And I you."

It's never bothered him before that she doesn't say it back, and it's not going to now.

 

**16 - Merlin/Gwen**

Everyone keeps telling them to stop being so goddamn adorable and just get a room—but it's not like they need a room for anything. Gwen and Merlin don't fuck, which seems to baffle the rest of them. They'll kiss and cuddle, hold hands, nap together; they just don't do any of these things _naked_.

It's nothing about them being repulsed by each other. Gwen likes the way Merlin looks—wouldn't snog him if she didn't—but she doesn't have a burning desire to jump him. And there's nothing wrong with that, 'cause if she wants sex she can go to Lance or Arthur, or even Morgana.

Anyway, Merlin makes a nice pillow for someone so lanky. And he likes baking cookies and talking about _Harry Potter_ , so he's basically her best friend—just a best friend she happens to spend a lot of time touching.

They sort of try having sex, but it's awkward and neither can stop laughing. In the end they just watch _The Great British Bake Off_ and drink the sort of shitty boxed wine that would give Arthur and Morgana an aneurysm.

 

**17**

"I'm not asking, but—"

"But?"

"It's stupid."

"No, what?"

"If I _did_ —if I asked you to, would you—give it up?"

"Give what up? ...Them?"

"Yeah."

"For you?"

"Um."

"Wow. I—if you asked me to, um. Yeah. I think so."

"You think?"

"I would."

"You would?"

"Of course. _God_. Yes."

"All right."

"Well—are you?"

"What?"

"Asking."

"No. ...Not yet."

**Author's Note:**

> This portrayal of polyamory wasn't intended to mock or offend. It's a fairly exaggerated take on poly and open relationships, admittedly, but once I got the idea in my head I just couldn't leave it alone.


End file.
